• Chloe Chapdelaine

10 True Things I Overheard at University

Updated: Aug 18, 2018

So, the semester has come to a close, and (FINALLY!!!) classes are over for a good four months. Throughout the semester I’ve heard random snippets of conversation while walking through the halls which, quite frankly, sounded quite odd out of context. (Like, on number 9 I actually spat my coffee out).


I put it upon myself that I would continue to be aware of the overly loud conversations spoken in the halls of my university, and here are the most ridiculous ones I heard:



Now I know all the places to go if I assassinated someone in the school.

Okay... ummmmm... I’m aware my school has some pretty concealed staircases and rooms, but it didn’t automatically go through my mind that next time I assassinate someone I can use it as an escape plan... 😳😳



He looked like has was going to have a heart attack, I was like noooo although it would be kinda exciting.

There’s this one hallway in the school that’s always full of nursing students. Apparently this nurse was excited to almost have to apply her new knowledge on her grandpa when they went out for brunch last Tuesday.


So my brother called the cops and was like “there’s some guy trying to start a fire and a fight club, and he’s trying to break into my neighbour’s house right now.”

Okay. I’ll admit it. This one was wild from beginning to end. (I’d maybe suggest not being associated with this person????) I guess at least the authorities were contacted!


Tall large Male: Jesse said she’s going to take advantage of me...

To start with, who is Jesse?? A friend? A partner? I hope this was you just you saying your sexual desires a little too loudly because otherwise I’d be a little concerned for you.


You ARE the serial killer.

(Was loudly yelled at a female by another female why having an argument)

After hearing the “assassination escape plan” I wasn’t too concerned for my safety and thought these people were joking but now I’m not too sure...


Old male Janitor to young black guy: are you my friend??!

Black guy: no?

Janitor: Ah, you’re just another one of them. You all look the same. *hysterically laughs*

I don’t know about you, but this wasn’t funny to me when I saw it. At all. This one made me quite upset, especially after seeing the young male’s dejected expression, but I’m sharing it to spread awareness that racism actually is still an ongoing issue. #stopracism


Guy: do you look at just the ass or the whole leg?

Girl: the WHOLE LEG

Oh, there’s nothing quite like girls explaining to their guy friends how they assess a guy’s attractiveness


I will cut you up

I’ve determined it’s probably safest if I come to school with a taser and body guard from now on


Male 1: She’s got a beak and a half. Have you seen her nose??

Male 2: Toucan sam?

Male 3: More like two can wear her nose!

Yikes. Sorry Sam... let’s hope you have a great personality that these guys can look past.


I’m ready to twerk so hard I throw my back out.

Me too, random dude, me too.


And that’s it!! Next time you’re walking through the halls alone, instead of texting I challenge you to listen and see what you hear. Who knows, you may also discover the serial killers in your school.

*cue horror movie music*


Cheers!


Chloë

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© 2020 Chloë Chapdelaine @chloe.chapdelaine

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