Bizarre Things I Saw in Amsterdam
Updated: Sep 25, 2018
This place does not disappoint. I can confirm I was thoroughly amused this entire two day stay, thanks to the plethora of bizarre sights. I had a great time. Here’s what I saw:
On my first day, I looked in a shop window expecting to see a nice stand of donuts or some cute gift items, and instead was stared back at by a naked woman sitting on a stool, who then proceeded to wink at me and blow a kiss. Ummm not exactly my idea of window shopping... Apparently prostitution is legal here (and it’s literally down every street).
Feeling thirsty and jet lagged, I popped into a convenience store to grab an energy drink. The first one on the shelf I grabbed stated “Cannabis Energy Drink- contains cannabis.” Can you imagine if I didn't read the label?! Good luck Charlie.
On this trip featuring many stops across Europe, I’ve been in my element going to art museums and seeing historical monuments and sculptures. I feel so lucky to have seen art from Vincent Van Gogh, Vermeer, Rembrandt, and many other artists I admire. But... When I stumbled across a giant statue of a penis, it was definitely some comic relief.
Apparently it’s not uncommon for your waitress to go on her smoke break and suck down a joint. It is also not uncommon for her to forget your order 3 times and have a less that satisfactory job performance.🤷
McDonalds has GLUTEN FREE BUNS!!!!!! I had never seen this before and was so happy *nudge nudge* hey Canada, take a hint.
I went into a store titled “coffee shop” wanting a black coffee and was told they sold Marijuana, and didn’t have black coffee *faceplam*
I thought a man tried to cop a feel of my man’s bum and I was about to get defensive but then realized he just tried to pickpocket Max instead and I felt really dumb for not assuming the latter off the bat.
Good parenting includes holding your 7 year old’s hand while you smoke your joint.
I have never seen kinkier dressed mannequins in store windows than in Amsterdam. Lingerie, strap-ons, whips, chains, gags, these mannequins are in for a wild time.
I wanted to buy a postcard for my grandparents to show them how much I care about them, and that I’m having a good time. Obviously, I went to the nearest store that sold postcards. I picked out a very beautiful card which featured one of Van Gogh’s self portraits AND ALMOST BOUGHT IT before realizing somebody had photoshopped a blunt into Van Gogh’s mouth. I swear Nana and Papa I’m not getting into any trouble!!!!
Overall: this experience has been like no other. What can I say?
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go to Amsterdam.