• Chloe Chapdelaine

Things I Overheard on Vacation


SUE ME, I’M A PEOPLE WATCHER.


And you know what, I’m sure you’re one too. But before I start, I have to add, some of these were hard NOT to hear.


Okay, let’s start from the beginning. Christmas in Mexico is great. The wifi, not so much. So what do you do instead of scroll the gram? Eavesdrop, obviously. (I wasn’t snooping though, like some of the people were literally shouting this across a pool). 


A good place to overhear conversations included flea-markets like this.

Anyways, there were some interesting conversations going on for sure. What about? To be honest, I’m not too sure because I usually only picked up a line or two as I walked past them.

But here were the most interesting overheard thing from my most recent vacation:


Late teens boy shaped like a linebacker: “I had to shave either one whole leg, or half of each so I did half of each. I used hair removal cream, that Nair stuff, and THAT STUFF HURTS!!!!”


Uhhhhh...?? One, why? Two, I don’t think Nair should hurt. Actually, I’m confident Nair shouldn’t hurt (unless you’re giving yourself a chemical burn). But hey, you're looking sleek for vacation I guess.


Man to family: "THE PRESS NEEDS TO SHUT DOWN!!!"


This guy was heated. Very heated. But as a journalism student, I mean, I’m no professional, but I don’t think it’ll happen buddy.


*3:00 hits exactly*

Wife to husband: "Dad, it’s chocolate bar time. You can stop wining now."


Wow, if my husband scheduled when I can and can’t eat chocolate bars I think it would result in divorce. (At least she’s keeping him trim??)


This is me pretending I can't hear people yelling all around me.

Young man: "If I’m going to jury duty this dude better have killed someone."


I don’t know if that’s something you should wish for, but I can see where you’re coming from...


Teenage girl to mom: "I feel like I’m going to throw up."


Oh, vacation. Is it sunstroke? Too many drinks at the swim up bar? Dehydration? The fact you’ve eaten nothing but nachos for 3 days? Food poisoning? We’ll never know.


Mom to daughter: “I’ll poison you...”


That’s a threat I’ve never given but I wonder what the girl did to warrant it...


Woman on an apparent girls’ trip: “He studies flight patterns and weather but I still love him though.”


Hang on... what’s wrong with studying flight patterns? Weather is cool. Don’t hate on him wanting to be a pilot??? Glad you still love him despite that though.


Parents to teenage son: “Talk back, but don’t attack him. Don’t risk your life tuning him in.”


Good advice, mom and dad. But what did this dude do to your son???


Daughter to mom: "You sit in piss!"

Mom: "Well if everyone just took their tissues and wiped their ass cheeks clean we wouldn’t have this problem!!"


Good thing she had some swim shorts on?!??? But like... what the heck??? Ew. But also low key hilarious.


This is me laughing that they ACTUALLY just said that.

Woman: "She said she wants to sell the house."

Friend: "Well she’s already put 4 million into renovations so it’s a bit deep for her to back out now."

Oh, so you’re like, rich rich. I can’t imagine putting 4 MILLION DOLLARS into a reno just to back out. I can’t even imagine having 4 million dollars to be honest.


Woman: "Water polo is like hockey in water. The whole point of water polo is to break noses."


As a lifeguard, TWEET TWEEEEEET, you’re kicked out of the pool. I strongly strongly disagree with that statement.


Goodness, I love people watching.


Cheers,

Chloë

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© 2020 Chloë Chapdelaine @chloe.chapdelaine

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